Wherever You Are
by drawblindfaith
Summary: Will Rachel and Finn find the closure they need? future fic
1. You cant always get what you want

**I do not own glee or the characters, this is an experiment for my own amusement and fun**

_**This is the first fanfic I actually published, I've always been quite shy when it comes to my writing but I decided to give it a try and do this...**_

_**My first language isn't english, so bare with me! If you spot a grammar or spelling mistake plase do let me know!**_

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"I told you I'm not thrilled with the idea" he said for what seemed the 50th time that week. "I'll be fun" she said with her big hopeful green eyes looking at him softly and he knew it was just matter of time, he would have to give up, he was tired of the constant discussion and never ending hints and she wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted.

"Fine" as soon this word came out he felt her body pressing to him in a hug, followed to a soft tender kiss, all he could think was that she was happy and that should be enough for him.

One thing was for sure, he had to avoid her and her memory altogether, New York was a big city and with the right directions he knew he could make it through the trip making it pleasant and pain-free. He sat in his empty apartment, grabbed the remote and turned the tv on resisting the urge to go to his laptop and google the two words he came to fear the most, he found himself doing this often and feeling terrible about it, he should have moved on by then, it had been years, he was in a committed relationship with a beautiful girl. "it should be enough" he said to himself over and over trying to convince himself his life was good and the pain was gone, but deep inside there was something telling him this was not true.

He kept flipping through the channels... remembering the last time he could recall seeing her, it wasn't even in person, he was walking to work and like every other morning grabbed some coffee and the day's newspaper before starting his day at work, that day he noticed something different, it was a magazine, something theatre related he couldn't remember the name, he only remembered her face framed in a little square on the cover of the magazine, he stared at it for a while and before he realized he was buying it, he flipped through the pages, there she was as pretty as always, her big expressive brown eyes, her lips... it was like he could feel her skin all over again, her soft willing skin... he spent most of his day just looking at the picture he couldn't bring himself to read the article, it wasn't very long anyway, not even a full page, he was sure it said something about a big new talent, the pain that brought that little article made him snap out of it, he threw the magazine and promised himself he would avoid every little thing that could bring him to her again. The pain wasn't healthy wasn't normal and he had to move on, that day was when he finally gave up and asked out Lauren, he knew she could be the one to help him heal and forget... she did... at least most of the times, as long she didn't leave him alone too long with his own thoughts.

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He was carrying Chinese food as instructed in the phone, she opened the door right away, one of the biggest smiles he had ever seen on her, it was nice to see her smiling like that, maybe this trip wasn't such a bad idea after all, she gave him a quick kiss and stated filling him up with plans and information, she jumped from one way to the other chatting away, prices, tickets, locations, everything, he wasn't really excited about the planning, but he knew this was the only way he could be a little bit more in control if anything started going the wrong direction, everything was going great until he heard one word

"Are you sure about this?, I mean, I think I'll be boring" he said hoping to convince her  
"What do you mean by boring? Mom said a trip to New York wasn't a trip to New York without a Broadway play in the way"  
"I still think you won't like it" it was worth the try  
"Now, don't be silly Finn, it'll be fun, we just have to find a fun play"  
To contradict her at this point would've been pointless, so he decided to volunteer and help her with the search took the laptop and moving to the coach, he was content that at least she wanted a cheerful play, Les Mis wouldn't come as an option at the end The Lion King and Hairspray were the options, of course his hopes where on the Lion King which in his mind was a safer option, of course he didn't say that, he just explained how the play had some awesome costumes and had won some awards and somehow he talked her into it, he was feeling better and better about this trip, maybe he was wrong, he could have fun and enjoy just as much as Lauren, with no worries, everything seemed to be working out perfectly anyway.

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Lauren removed the computer from his lap, placing it in the coffee table and leaned to kiss him, the light of the moon made her look prettier, her brown hair, her pale skin, she looked almost like an angel, her lips interacting with his like never before, then something changed, something inside, something in the way she was kissing him, in the way she was moving his lips, her taste was sweeter, better... he opened his eyes to find her, so different of what he'd seen before so right, so perfect _"Rachel?"_ her image was now fading away, he tried to hold on, to stay there with her, to kiss her, only her... but now there was just darkness instead  
_"Finn?"  
__"Finn"_

Somehow he managed to fall asleep on the couch and was trying to figure out what had actually happened  
"Come on, honey, let's go to bed!" she said softly pulling him to her room, right to the bed, rounding her body with his arm, he did it willingly, and watched silently as she fell into a deep sleep, he didn't know if he wanted to sleep, that'd mean to dream and as much as he wanted to see her, to touch her, to only taste her again, he was scared, because he'd know it was a dream, that he could never really have her, it was the first dream of her in a while and he was still not over it, still hurting with the thought of watching her disappear, and yet his arm was rounding Lauren's making him feel guilty, like he cheated and in some ways he was...

He unattached himself from her body and walked to the window, the sky presented a good amount of stars unlike the majority of the nights, and he found himself staring, remembering the name he always related to a gold star, the name that made him feel like a pathetic excuse of man, he wondered if she was contemplating the sky just like he was, as if that'd connect them some way, somehow...

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_**Please let me know what you think...**_

_**should I keep on writing? :)**_


	2. When you get what you want

_** I don't own glee or the characters, I just play around with them**_

**_Ok so here's the second chapter, It takes me a little long to write since I want to make sure I'm writing something coherent and still I often doubt about that!_**

**_ again if you see any spelling or grammar errors let me know_**

**_We are getting some Rachel now and I'm introducing yet an other character to the plot, I hope you don't hate me for this_**

**_Thanks for the lovely reviews so far, please review and let me know your thoughts! I really hope you like it_**

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The sky was beautiful that night, filled with stars, a quality she came to appreciate while living in New York, being a big city, the sky rarely was filled with that amount of stars, it made her happy, she took one of her old pic-nic blankets, a bottle of wine and made her way to the roof, placing the blanket piece memory came to her, but instead of dealing with it, she just blocked it like she learned to a few years back, with the excuse of protecting her heart, she wasn't sure that was true anymore, but that was an other thing she wasn't ready to deal with, she wasn't ready then, and hell, she wasn't ready now, lying to herself seemed to be working just fine for her, so she just did

She poured herself a cup of wine and laid there peacefully, trying to remember the last time she took the time to come out, it had been a long time, but it was ok, that's why she loved this so much, she never had to prove anything there, there was no fear of disappointing or the pressure to look groomed and ready, she just had to be there and that was enough... no pressures

Looking at the stars made her feel safe, together, they were like a little piece of everlasting hope, they had always been her comfort, the reminder to be strong, to keep fighting, to stay true to herself, she remembered how she used to add the little gold star sticker next to her name up until college, when she traded the sticker for her own doodle, she still had a good amount of the stickers though, he gave her a box full of them at the beginning of their senior year, she remembered being impressed, not only he cared enough to make her a selfless gift, but he'd gone for the trouble to find different sizes as well, those memories made her smile and before she knew it she was seeing him, his hopeful smile, looking at her like she was the only one in the room, she tried to avoid the memory, but it was too late, she could feel her heart hurt, and looking at the stars she wondered, if he ever remembered her, if he ever forgave her... she could only hope

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Her alarm was buzzing, and she was still lying there, not wanting to get out of be just yet, it wasn't like she had gotten any sleep, she kept tossing and turning all night thinking about him, filling her head with memories and regrets, it didn't seem healthy, but she couldn't help it, it always took time to block all those thoughts all together, but at least she'd have two weeks off from tomorrow, she'd get herself cry for a day or two and then everything would be better, she was about to get what she worked so hard for, what she wanted...

"Excellent, good job guys take five, um Rachel can you come here for a minute" she walked off the stage trying to get a believable smile on her face

"are you okay? I mean you seem... distracted, don't get me wrong your singing was flawless like always, but, should I worry?" she hated herself for allowing this to show

"I'm fine, I'm sorry, I just had a terrible night, I'll just grab some coffee and I'll be ready to go" she smiled trying to sound as convincing as she could

"I'll tell you what, just take the rest of the day off, the rehearsal is almost over anyway, just go home and rest, and I'll see you in two weeks" She didn't know what so say, a part of her wanted to stay and finish the day like any other day, but the other just wanted to go home and crawl to bed "Okay, Thank you" walking to her dressing room she felt a little defeated, but she needed to get some sleep, so she gathered her things and made her way out.

The mere touch of the fresh air, was enough to make her wake a little and be aware a little more of her surroundings, on her way to her little apartment she found herself in front of a big spectacular of the play, she stared at it and a genuine smile formed on her face, but she was still exhausted.

When she arrived to the apartment, dropped everything and crawled in to bed, she let herself cry, even though she wasn't sure why exactly she was crying, and she was too tired to even care, for the first time in a long time, she cried herself in to a deep sleep losing herself in dreams.

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The ring of her phone knocked her out of bed, it was already dark, she had no clue how long she'd been sleeping, she picked up

"Where the hell are you?"

"Cam?"

"Who else would it be? Are you ok? You are _NEVER_ late!"

"I'm really sorry, I was... tired, I overslept, but um I'll be there, give me 40 minutes"

"You better be here Rachel Berry"

She couldn't believe she forgot, Camila, Cam for short was her closest friend there, they've meet her first year at New York, at university accommodation, they were room mates, she was a quirky aspirant photographer, she always thought she was a lighter version of herself, everyone seemed to like her.

She had a big show tonight and now she was completely late for it, she jumped to the shower, and got herself together as fast as she could and got there in record time.

"You're here!" was the first thing she heard when she crossed the door

"I wouldn't miss it for the world" she was genuinely happy for her friend, and after a hug, she took a glass of wine and looked around, once again she was helping her through her pain without even knowing, one moment she was looking at the pretty photograph and the other she Cam walking to her with a guy next to her... she knew exactly her intentions, her attempts to run away were pointless

"Rachel, this is Kevin, Kevin this is Rachel Berry, look for her at Broadway she's going to be big!" before either of them knew Cam disappeared in the crowd.

She smiled, and he returned the smile, she was awkward, Cam insisted she needed some fun but she explained thousand of times before she didn't wanted the relationship drama, it was a lie of course a cover up, truth to be told, no one was tall, smart or interesting enough, at the end of the day no one was him, no one was _her_ Finn.

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**So it's clear they still have feelings for each other... but what happened between them?**


	3. Realization

**Chapter 3 : Realization**

**I'm really sorry about the lack of updates, but with summer school and social service it's been crazy, I've been writing on my bus rides and minutes off on a notebook but I haven't had the time to actually sit and write, but next week it's my last for uni so I should have some free time :)**

**If you find spelling or grammar errors please do let me know**

**I hope you don't hate me or Finn at this point, I have a plan you might also noticed I'm using both characters POV for this chapter instead of just one like last chapters, let me know what you think  
**

**again I don't own glee or the characters**

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**He was there, lying in bed with the perfect small girl in his arms, her left hand and her head were resting on his chest while his thumb playfully made circles over her bare shoulder, he couldn't get enough of her soft skin against his, it was as close to heaven as he could be and wanted to stay like that forever, the feel of the warm air that came out of her perfect mouth as she breathed at an even pace was all he seemed to need, she was unaware of the fact his full attention was to her, he fought the need to trace her angel like features with his fingers with the fear of waking her up, he closed his eyes instead, falling in to a deep wonderful sleep, with the girl he loved in his arms...

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Her hands started to move his hair playfully in her attempt to wake him up. He just smiled and kept his eyes shut, maybe it wasn't a dream after all...  
"Finn" she whispered and his eyes opened to the disappointment of the voice he did not expected to hear, but managed to keep his smile, the least he wanted is to see her confused and disappointed  
"I didn't want to wake you, you looked so peaceful" she stopped for a second getting closer "but I figured you wouldn't want to miss work" she said almost whispering and gave him a peck in the lips, and before she pulled away completely he held her close giving her a deep kiss, one that could make him feel less guilty for wanting an other girl, for dreaming about someone _different_, he loved Lauren but still it wasn't her, and that made him crazy all the time, it was wrong and he knew it, so why wasn't he stopping?

She pulled away with a big smile, ran her hand through his hair one more time and started to head out the room " I'll make us some coffee" she added with a little wink.

He kept his smile straight until he was sure she was out the room, he ran his hands from his face to his hair in frustration, he had to stop, he really had to try and move on completely, he headed to take a shower, his head attacking him with thoughts, he had to stop dreaming about her, and hoping Rachel would knock on his door, and ask him to take her back, that wasn't happening and it was about time to deal with that, she clearly moved on, and he had to do it for him, for Lauren, he closed his fist and hit the wall lightly in frustration, and allowed himself to cry one last time for her.

The aroma of fresh made coffee and eggs now as feeling the apartment, he walked to the tiny and looked to the pretty girl cooking completely unaware he was now watching, he approached her slowly and took her by the waist, and she let herself go turning off the stove as she turned around to face him

"I don't know what's up with you today, but I like it" she said playfully as she pulled him close to kiss him, the moment they pulled out the kiss, he just looked in to her beautiful green eyes and just like that, without even thinking the words came out

"We should move in together" he blurted out, she was completely taken off ward, surprised in a good way, she had been hinting for a couple of months now for them to move in together, but he'd been playing dumb, now he realized how stupid he was trying to stop the inevitable

"I mean" he continued "we spend many nights together anyway and..." she just gave him a big smile placing her arms around his neck kissing him deeply before he could even finish his sentence he held her up and pulled her in to the bedroom.

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The curtains of her room flew open letting the sun soak the room with light, She turned and covered her face with her duvet as an attempt to block the light.  
"Rachel"  
Right now she was not interested on what anyone had to say she was just really tired, she grunted and kept her eyes shut trying to remember her happy place, the only place she wanted to be right now and the only place she couldn't get to, not even if she wanted to, it took her a while to process the fact that someone was actually in her apartment, she opened her eyes and took the cover away from her face to find the black haired girl staring at her with disgust

"Come on, Get up" Cam said as she tried to pull her out of bed, but Rachel wasn't moving, she didn't really wanted to, and how in the world did she got inside in the first place?

"excuse me, but how in the world did you got in?" she asked stubbornly

"emergency key" was the simple reply she got out of her friend

"and may I ask what would be the emergency?" she was pretty sure the place was not in fire

"You" Cam said moving to her drawers pulling out some clean clothes out for her

"Me?" she asked not believing what she was hearing

"Yes" Cam continued moving around the room picking up the little mess she managed to make "I mean for the last three days you've been like a hermit!"

"I think I'm allowed to stay in if I want to!, I'm on my vacation remember?" of course the look on her friends face was telling her there was no way she was getting out of this, but seriously what was the big deal, she wasn't hurting anyone, she just didn't really feel like going out

"Vacation it's supposed to be a period when you can have fun, enjoy and relax, I'm not about to let you sulk the rest of it" the girl replied looking at her to the eye, she knew her too well for her own good

"I'm NOT sulking" she replied with the hope she'd believe her, Cam gave her a look and sat next to her

"You need some acting classes girl, now, please tell me, what's wrong"

"It's nothing really" truth to be told, even though Cam was truly her best friend, she was not quite ready to spill the hole drama that her past could be, she was just embarrassed of even admit it all, she took a look at the disappointed girl next to her...

"Fine then, get dressed, we are going out" Cam said as she headed out the room leaving Rachel alone again, she avoided her thoughts got out of bed and started to get ready

She left the room finding Cam sitting on the couch looking at some book in her lap, the girl just looked up for a second pointing out at the plate with fruit on the table

"You are too good for me" Rachel pointed out acknowledging her friend, who didn't seem to think she was more interesting than whatever got her attention this time.

"Please tell me you got rid of that" Cam said with amused voice and that's when she realized what was truly more interesting that her, she rushed by her side trying to take her sophomore year thunderclap out of her hands (she took it out the night before longing for those days when her life seemed simpler), but Cam was too fast for her

"Rachel, come on, I already know you were not popular in High School and I love you regardless, just tell me you got rid of that thing" Cam pointed to a picture where she was wearing one of her signature animal sweaters, she blushed thinking her dads may had kept many of her old clothes in their basement

"Yes I did" she lied "and for the record, they weren't so bad" Cam laughed and moved through the pages  
"let's check your signatures" Rachel freaked out, she didn't even got to that part the day before, at least there were some on there, Cam went through most of them and then she finally got to the one she feared the most:

_I wish I could write you something better and stuff, But I guess you already know I'm not good with words, you are awesome Rachel and like the most talented girl I know, I hope you know I really meant what I said at Regionals – Finn_

"interesting, who's this Finn guy and what did he said at Regionals?" Cams question made her nervous, she felt stupid for feeling this much for a guy she hadn't seen in years, and she didn't really wanted to face it all just yet  
"he just said I'd make it to Broadway or something" she mumbled trying to avoid the topic "where are we going anyway?" she asked trying to distract Cam from the stupid yearbook

"Shopping, because tonight, we have a date"  
"we?" the look on Cam's eyes told her she wasn't going to escape of this one, she wasn't in a mood for a blind date, but she figured she owed her this one, one night wouldn't hurt.

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please let me know what you think!

I know their stories are quite apart somehow but they'll come together soon :)


	4. Maybe it's Just a Dream

**Chapter 4. Maybe it's Just a Dream**

**First of all thank you for the kind reviews and story alerts, please do keep reviewing, and let me know what you think  
**

**I've been trying to find the right direction for this chapter, and tonight it finally came out, maybe it's not what I expected but it's for me somehow mostly a filler chapter since I have good things planned for Chapter 5  
**

**If you find spelling or grammar errors please do let me know**

**I hope you don't hate me or Rachel now, her part was the hardest for me to write, but it needed to be there I guess... I promise everything will end up nicely, I'm just trying to show a little more of the characters during this stage of their lives  
**

**again I don't own glee or the characters**

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It was a beautiful day, it seemed like everything was falling in to a perfect place, even when he picked up Lauren, the car was still silent, he looked at the beautiful girl siting next to him, her hair down falling over her freckled shoulders, she was looking out the window, silent, peaceful and with a big smile on her face, he liked that, his goal from now on was making her happy

He reached out and turned on the radio, and looked over Lauren who turned her face and gave him the biggest smile, this one was only for him, so he smiled back widely, his fingers started to tap the melody along with the radio he lost himself on music and the road when it was announced "Now here with you Journey's Don't Stop Believing" this had to be one of those twisted tricks of destiny he thought, so he reached over to change the song when Lauren's hand caught his

"I like this song" she simply said, giving a little kiss to his hand and let it go, he really liked this song, but he haven't heard it in a few years, he simply blocked the song along with his memories, but it wasn't fair, so he finally for the first time in years he allows himself to enjoy the song, maybe this was a sign, he was moving on and it was a good thing...

A few songs after he looked over to find her moving her head up and down mouthing some words of the song now playing on the radio, and smiled, he wondered why she even was with him in the first place, he was really a pathetic excuse of boyfriend most of the time, if he was being honest this relationship worked because she wanted it to work, she always started the conversations, set up their dates and even planned this trip all on her own, he helped but it was always that, he only gave a little bit of himself and not the whole deal

"Did I ever tell you I used to play the drums?" he simply said out of the blue

"Did you?" she said surprised with a smile on her face

"Yes, since I was kid" he looked over to see the excitement of her face, it seemed like the first time in a long time he actually invested on their conversations

"Why did you quit then?" she asked trying to sound casual

"Well, when I moved on my own after university, they just didn't fit, so I just sold them" he said, it wasn't a lie but it wasn't the full truth either, he just wasn't ready to share that much, nor he was sure he would ever share the ever presence of Rachel in his mind influenced many of his choices in life, it just didn't seem fair to her.

Their arrival to New York went smoothly, they checked in on the nice hotel, hung around the room for a while and made their way out to have something to eat and do some tourist stuff, after a lot of debating they decided they wouldn't be taking the car anywhere, he wasn't thrilled to be stuck in traffic and neither was her, in order to enjoy of a peacefully trip they would either take a taxi or a subway.

The ever prepared Lauren already carried a map of the subway, he just let himself go letting her direct the way. It wasn't until they got off the train when he saw her, right there in front of him, he read through the poster to make sure his eyes weren't fooling they weren't her name was right there announcing what seemed to be her future debut on the Broadway scene, his heart jumped a little to the thought of her getting her dream, maybe all of it was worth it after all, he noticed he'd been staring at the poster for a long time when some lady past by him hitting his leg with her bag, and turned to see his girl too pre-occupied on the map to even notice his temporary loss of time and space.

He bumped in to her almost every ride, and every time he looked at those intense brown eyes he was just thankful he wasn't really bumping in to the real deal, he didn't know how he would react, or how he would ever explain her to Lauren, so he took his mind off it and just enjoyed his time there, smiled at the girl he could actually hold and eventually got used to the flashing image of the beautiful girl he'd been missing the last few years.

They finally settled for dinner in a cozy cafe down the 9th Avenue, it was a french place and it seemed like a good place for their first dinner in New York, they were assigned a table near the windows and indulged in some good wine, food and conversation.

Lauren excused herself while they were waiting for dessert when he saw her, this time on the flesh, he wasn't sure if it was a dream or real life, since his history with her became blurry, and he'd been seeing her all day, all around town, she was wearing jeans and a light top, she looked fresh and was wearing her signature smile, he could almost hear her laugh as she walked along with a man, her arm linked to him as they were walking along, he pulled the dessert menu up to hide his face the least thing he wanted was and awkward reunion, but his eyes never left the sight of her until she disappeared on the street, he could've sworn they made eye contact for a second... it's all it took

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They were walking up to what it was supposed to be a good vegan restaurant when she turned around, she could have sworn she saw the one and only Finn Hudson on the little french cafe, then again it was probably her imagination, she remembered spotting him around New York or in many of her plays before it was all of course her mind playing tricks, but she wasn't going to let it win, so he ignored whatever message her brain was trying to send her and looked up to the guy she had actually a date with

As much as she hated to admit it this Kevin guy was a great catch, not only he was good looking, but he could make her laugh, and he was genuinely interested on what she had to say instead of just wanting to get in to her pants, she liked that, it was the first time in a long time she was legitimately interested on a guy.

But she decided to let herself go, Cam was thrilled with the idea of Rachel dating someone and no less a guy she thought her best friend deserved since the last couple of guys she got involved were some pathetic excuse of actors that turned out to be complete jerks, and after their third double date, Rachel was more than ready to fly solo.

It had been the nicest dinner she had in a while she thought as they were walking down the street to her apartment, she forgot how comfortable it could be with a guy around.

"We are here" she said stating the obvious pointing at the door

He looked at her with tender eyes "Thank you, Rachel, I had fun, I hope you had a good time too" he stated as he was trying to decipher the look in her eyes

"I did, it was wonderful" she reassured giving him a little smile

"I'll call you?" He said as leaned over and gave her a little kiss on the cheek

Suddenly it was like some strange power took over her when she gently tiptoed to place her lips with his it only lasted a brief second "Would you like to come in?" she almost whispered without even thinking, this was so unlike her, it wasn't like she wanted to sleep with him, and she only hoped she wasn't giving him the wrong impression "I'll make us some coffee" she simply said before he could even answer as she opened the door and he let himself in willingly

"Please sit, make yourself at home" she simply said as she rushed to the kitchen, she saw the bottle of wine she got from her parents the last time they visited and voiced out

"Actually, what would you think of some good organic wine"

"Wine sounds great" he smiled gently as she moved with two wine glasses and the bottle and placed all on the coffee table.

Things played nice at first, they talked about movies, plays, music and a little bit of work, but as the glasses went by they started to loosen up, they were in their second bottle of wine, and she wasn't thinking straight, she was now giggling at whatever he said, she doubted but gave in and leaned to press her lips to his for the second time of the night, it didn't take more for him to start kissing back, his hand running gently trough her hair as the kiss deepened, and before she knew it they were heavily making out on her couch, she didn't knew if it was the wine or her mind but for one second she could have sworn Kevin was switched for Finn, she broke apart breathing heavily

"It's everything ok?" he asked looking at her confused

She remembered the last time that happened to her, back in high school, when that boy was actually around, she blocked the memory of her mind

"No... um... you've got protection?" she simply asked, he pulled her close with a little nod as she let herself go

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**again please don't hate Rachel, I promise we are moving forward, next chapter should be much more enjoyable **

**Reviews are more than welcomed**

_fun facts:_

_I decided to make Rachel's debut on Broadway a brand new play, that's why the name is not mentioned._

_I've never been in NY or its underground, I've used the London tube though and there's posters/advertisements of the musicals all over the place, since NY is known for the big Broadway scene I thought it made sense _

_I actually did some research on the restaurants they ate, they are both in the 9th Avenue NY, Finn and Lauren ate at "Le Grainne Cafe" while Rachel and Kevin enjoyed their meal at "Blossom" to be honest I have no idea if they are any good, if you do please do let me know ;)_


	5. Honding On

**Ch5 – Holding on**

_** I don't own glee or the characters, I just play around with them**_

**_this was supposed to be a little part of Chapter 5 but it came out bigger than I expected, it's a bit short, so it could be considered a bit filler, I'm hoping to update tomorrow night with what comes next  
_**

**_ again if you see any spelling or grammar errors let me know_**

**_Thanks for the reviews, please review and let me know your thoughts! I really hope you like it_**

**_

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_**A small ray of sun lay on her face waking her up, her head felt like exploding, she started to rub her temples as the memories of the night before started filling her head, and that's when she realized the sound of her shower, she stood up wrapped her robe to her body and made her way to the kitchen started making some coffee and started to dial

"Hello?" a sleepish voice came out from the other end of the phone

"Cam, It's me Rachel"

"Why I'm not surprised, only YOU could call me this early"

"I don't know what to do" she simply said ignoring her friend's last statement

"about what?" se replied confused "what happened?"

"It's Kevin"

"What about him? What happened on your date? Don't tell me_ YOU_ ruined it?"

Rachel stood there for a few seconds silent trying to figure out her answer, of course she'd ruin it, it was her Rachel Berry, by now she was kind of an expert on ruining things with guys, specially the ones she liked

"Rach, are you still there?"

"Um... yes.. I just..."

"You are worrying me spit it out already"

"I had way too much wine last night and one thing lead to an other, I practically threw myself to him, I'm a _slut_, that's what I am, I always ruin_ everything_, what was I thinking? Jumping in to things like that, this is going way to fast" she blurted out, she feelt herself losing her breath and started to panic now that she said everything out loud.

"Listen to me, you are _not_ a slut, save the drama for your shows, where is he now?"

"taking a shower"

"OK, now breathe, just like I taught you and under _any_ circumstance freak out like that on him, OK?"

She nooded lightly, and attempted to breath in and out slowly don't freak out, don't freak out she repeated whispering trying to gain some courage

"Rachel now listen, I know for a fact this guy really likes you, and I've never seen you so interested on someone before,... just try to be honest... but be nice"

"Ok"

Her breathing was now slowing and the panic was almost gone, she would not be in good shape if it wasn't for Cam, she poured herself a cup of coffee and started to chop some fruit for breakfast, she was halfway through when the footsteps she was fearing the most this whole time started to make their way to the kitchen

"Good morning" he simply said looking at her with a big smile in his lips, needless to say he did looked handsome, without a word she filled a cup for him and took it to him not wanting to look in to his eyes just yet, he took the cup from her hands and leaned to give her a small kiss, she made her way to the kitchen

"Do you want to eat something?" she asked "I have fruit, and I recently discovered the best Soy Yogurt around"

"Sounds great" he simply said, she could see the worried look on his face

"Listen..." she placed herself in front of him as he sat in the kitchen bar

"um... last night... was... well it was... great" she looked over trying to decipher the look on his eyes, hoping he'd say something, but he didn't

"... and I like you but..." she could see a frown forming on his lips.

"I really want to take things slow..." she said looking at the coffee table where the empty bottles of wine laid, He reached out for her hand...

"It's ok, I understand, I really like you Rachel, nothing is going to change that" he simply said smiling a little, she was pleasantly surprised about his reply, she felt herself smiling while they ate breakfast, maybe this wasn't going to end badly, the fact that she saw Finn constantly last night didn't mean that she didn't liked the guy in front of her, she liked him a lot, maybe this little Finn phase would go away, it always did.

* * *

"So, you think is a good idea?" she asked hopeful

He was in other world, ever since he saw her, well, in the flesh his mind kept going there, to her face, her smile, and how different but the same she looked, he spend last couple of days daydreaming and wondering if she'd been in all this places they'd been... and Lauren had been so into the New York experience she didn't even really noticed his constantly daydreaming, or at least not most of the time, they were now walking over the Brooklyn Bridge and he obviously wasn't paying attention, his mind were on tonight's plans

"um... er... what?" he looked over to see the annoyed face of the girl now standing in front of him

"Finn, what's wrong with you today?"

"Nothing, sorry Babe, I just... got distracted"

"Look if you are tired, we can go and rest a little bit, our show is tonight and I don't want you sleeping during the play"

"Oh no, I'm fine, I won't" he simply leaned to give her a peck on the lips knowing that'd be good enough to distract her

He'd been really nervous about this particular night, it was Rachel's territory and his mind was going on circles, one part of him wanted to keep away and avoid her at all costs but there was this other part that hoped he'd see her again, even for a second that's all he needed, then maybe he would be able to continue with his moving on process that that Rachel Berry had come to ruin without even knowing . She showed up out of nowhere and succeeded on troubling his mind...he didn't bring himself to think about the guy, the lucky bastard that got to have the most beautiful girl on the planet with him, he was probably a wealthy man, smart enough to keep up with the complicated girl that was Rachel Berry, he never admitted it out loud but he knew he'd never be good enough for her, her goals, her dreams had always been bigger than him, she said it herself. And it still made his heart turn a little with pain.

* * *

"Finn!" she called out "Are you ready?"

He stared at the reflection on the mirror, he wasn't sure he liked the person who was in front of him, he again felt like he was cheating on Lauren and he felt guilty, but took a deep breath and tried to make up a smile

"Let's go!" he said coming out the bathroom, he tried to avoid her gaze, but the moment he saw her, Finn knew he had to make it right, this night had to be perfect.

"You look beautiful" he simply said giving her a big smile

Rachel wasn't ruining his night, he couldn't let her do that, not after all this years...

* * *

_**thanks for reading like I said I'll do my best to post the other bit tomorrow**_

_**I already have a plan of when we'll find out what happened, at first it was going to be a little memory sequence, but the more I think it the more I believe the whole memory should be a hole chapter... thoughts?**_


	6. You were standing there

**Chapter 6 - You were standing there**

_** I don't own glee or the characters, I just play around with them**_

_**this is a bit short and didn't came out exactly how I expected but in order to update today I had to cut it short  
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**_again if you see any spelling or grammar errors let me know_**

**_Thanks for the reviews, please review and let me know your thoughts! I really hope you like it_**

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She looked beautiful, sporting a nice smile, he could not take his eyes off her, but as soon they were walking down in the busy streets, his eyes went wondering around to see if he could spot her, really it's all he needed, just once and he'll be ready to go back to his reality, which wasn't bad at all, Lauren was really a wonderful girl, she was kind, patient, hard-working, beautiful, she was all a guy could have ever wanted on a girl, except, for the longest time he didn't care about the perfect girl for every other guy, he was only focused on the perfect girl for him, and that would be the one bossy, talented and self centered brunette he met in high school. He knew she was the one and his feelings for her would never go away completely, but he also was aware he could live just fine with this other girl, after all life wasn't supposed to be perfect.

They entered to the theatre and all his hopes were gone, as if he would be able to spot her with all the people around, she was probably enjoying a quiet night at home, he could picture her snuggling in front of the TV watching funny girl.

They took their sits and the show began, and he was enjoying it, a lot, it was a magnificent spectacle, the costumes were amazing and the music was great, he was really happy they chose this particular show, it was all worth it! Intermission came along and Lauren pulled him out to stretch her legs and do a toilet stop, he was standing close to the bathroom nervously waiting for her to come out

"Finn?" he heard his name across the room, for a second he thought was dreaming, that voice could only be one person, one girl, and he was almost afraid when he did, she was making her way to him with a big smile on her lips, and he was frozen in shock, yes he had been wishing to see her all day, but he never really planned how things would go from there, or what would he say, the last time he really saw her they were both in their teens, before he could think of something intelligent to say, she was inches before him and in and instant she closed the distance jumping pressing her body to his in a hug, he was still in complete shock his brain or body not responding to anything, the scent of her hair was intoxicating, he only managed do place his hand over her lower back a little to hold her right there where she was...

* * *

She didn't know what came up to her, it was like she was a crazy teen all over again, during the intermission she, Kevin, Cam and Jackson headed out for some air, at first when she saw him, she thought it was probably one of those mind tricks her mind was playing her lately, but then he didn't disappear, he was still there, looking as handsome as ever looking like a lost puppy, the best thing to do would be turning away and pretending that he wasn't there, but there was something in her that would not let her do that, she called his name and made her way to him, it was almost like a magnetic force pulling her close to him, she wished she could decipher the look in his face, it's been way too long, but he still had that cute clueless face, she couldn't help but smile and before she knew it she was giving a little jump and embracing him in a hug, she took a deep breath in his arms smelling his scent, he didn't move until after a few seconds after only to embrace her a little bit... it wasn't until she reacted on what she was doing that she let go to find four curious faces looking at the scene

"So who do we have here?" Cam was the first to speak

Rachel looked nervously from Finn to Kevin

"This is Finn" she said trying to look casual "He was a... friend during High School" Cam shoot her an interesting look and the girl next to Finn finally spoke

"Do I know you from somewhere?" she simply asked, Rachel looked at her carefully, she was really tall almost perfect for Finn's size, her hair was short and light brown, she doubted for a second but she knew she'd remember someone like her she was about to answer when Finn finally decided to let a word out

"Um.. you probably remember her from all those posters on the metro" he simply said breaking eye contact and looking to the girl next to him.

Rachel felt flattered, he noticed and this made her heart jump a little but she put herself together and extended her hand to the girl

"I am Rachel Berry, nice to meet you..."

"Lauren"

"Nice to meet you Lauren" she shook her hand and smiled to only get a little smile back

Cam's nature wasn't to be ignored so she made herself present clearing her throat

"I'm sorry" Rachel said trying to look calm

"Finn, Lauren this is Cam, Jackson and Kevin" they exchanged greetings, and she couldn't take her eyes off him, his signature smile was there forming those perfect dimples, she felt the need to just get close and telling him how much she missed him, how incomplete her life seemed to be without him, but she didn't instead she just stood there

"How about you both join us for dinner?" she heard Cam asking over, and started panicking she didn't know if she was going to be able to keep herself together now, for a few seconds, now imagine a hole dinner, she suddenly felt Kevin's arms around her, like claiming her in someway since his eyes were on Finn as he spoke

"Yes, please we are going to Rachel's favourite Vegan place after"

"Ok, sure, why not?" Lauren replied before anyone could make a comment, it seemed like everyone was planning their lives around them, she didn't liked the feeling of not being in control, in fact she hated it, but the thought of having him around for a couple of hours more seemed more and more appealing with the time, even if he was unreachable now, she felt like all over high school mooning over the guy she couldn't have... the difference was she had him and let him go and it still hurt...

* * *

He couldn't remember properly how that little encounter became a dinner, or how he could hold himself and not take that girl in his arms again to enjoy the scent of her properly, he only knew she was beautiful and he wanted to see her again, she was like this addictive drug he'd been off all this years and he was relapsing hard...

"Why didn't you tell me you knew the girl from the posters?" he was snapped out of his thoughts

"Um... we haven't spoken since high school... so... hm... I don't know" he knew she was starting to think something was up

"ok" she simply said

"It's just I didn't wanted to look like one of those guys who start talking to people after years because of their fame" he reassured, she didn't say anything else, he hoped it would be enough...

He tried the hardest to concentrate on the play and not look for _her_ in the crowd

* * *

Kevin held her tight trying on their way out, she understood it was some kind of male claim after she caught her looking for him after the intermission, she didn't mind, all she cared about was him, seeing _him_ again..

**please do review let me know what you think!**


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